No one gets more unsolicited advice than plus size women. “If you could lose just a little bit of weight, you would look perfect.”  Or “with a beautiful face like yours, you would be beating off these men with a stick if you lose some weight.” One, we don’t need your type of advice. Two, STFU! And lastly, we love and embrace our size on this side of town. 

Unfortunately, plus size women get assigned all types of stereotypes, from being lazy and unkempt to being unhealthy with poor eating habits. That’s far from the case. I, for one, prioritize health & wellness and self-care. 

And I’ll have you know that each one of my rolls is scrubbed, cleansed, moisturized, and oil-downed to perfection. I meet with my trainer at least once a week and I’ve adopted healthy eating habits. Oh, and I can’t keep men out of my DM’s.

Finally embracing the body I’m in has been a journey, but I’m grateful that I didn’t let the opinions of others scare me into oblivion. 

Today, I want to talk to you about self-care. This topic is paramount in the lives of all women, no matter their size. However, today is dedicated to my baddies whose scales runneth over.

I see you on the gram and TikTok giving everyone a run for their money and slaying every “I’m So Pretty” Challenge. It feels great that there’s corrective promotion in the mainstream for plus-size women and most importantly fashion options. No more moo moo and mom jeans for us. We’ll have what Ms. Size 4 is wearing if it’s in our size with a good stretch!

All jokes aside, as plus size women, now isn’t the time to play it small (yes pun) in life nor in health & wellness. Below are gentle reminders of ways to maintain confidence, self-care, and most importantly self-love.   

Practice Body Positive Self-Talk

Nothing screams “I have a self-deprecating attitude” more than the statement, “I’m so fat.” Umm, so are a lot of us. But See Jane Run. See Jane Run Her Businesses. See Jane Slay Every Look.  

Talk nice to yourself, Chica. And I must admit, the plus size community has some interesting and funny sayings:

  • "More cushion for the pushing." 
  • "Thick thighs save lives.”
  •  "Dear Big Girl, don't be afraid to get on top. If he dies, he dies.” 
  • "Oh, so she's Thick Thick?" 
  • “Thick Thighs and Brown Eyes.” 
  • “If you think I’m too big for you, you don’t have the equipment for the job anyway.”
  • “I’m not pretty for a big girl. I’m pretty, period.” 

The list goes on and on. 

You have to reprogram your mind to undo all the years of ridicule in your personal life and mainstream when it comes to your weight. Remember, outsiders’ words and opinions don’t define you. And don’t be quick to make “fat jokes” about yourself as a defensive mechanism and to make others around you comfortable. F*** Them! 


Update Your Wardrobe

Gone all the days when you had to starve yourself to fit into that "perfect dress.” Hon, there are perfect dresses in YOUR size. And the tailor is your friend--- whatever garment needs to be tucked in or let out, they're the person for the job.  You don’t have to wear sweats all day or God-awful mom jeans. Girl, you have options. 

Take pride in your appearance. Always look well put together. Use a belt or an undergarment that keeps everything in place. 

Get Annual Physicals and Check-Ups. 

While everyone is worried about the number on the scale, there are other values we should be concerned with. I’m not a medical professional; however, I know that having consecutive blood pressure readings of 140/90 and over, without being diagnosed with hypertension, is cause for alarm. During an annual exam, doctors may check your A1C, a lab value that measures if you’re prediabetic or diabetic. According to the American Diabetes Association, an A1C under 5.7 is ideal.  And for the ladies who have trouble losing weight, perhaps you have underactive thyroid or hypothyroidism, which can affect food metabolism. Please consult your doctor when you don’t feel at your optimum and get the necessary blood work and tests to help reveal the cause.  

Remain Physically Active 

No one is telling you to sign up to run a marathon; however, power walking and running are good for heart health.  Also, exposure to the sun’s rays while outdoors produces Vitamin D in our bodies, which is needed for bone health. Zumba, Yoga, and Pilates are plus size girl-friendly. Incorporating more movement in your schedule promotes better sleeping habits, mental well-being, and lowers the risk of developing certain health conditions. It helps if you have the best plus size activewear like Tribe 35’s high impact sports bra, The Double Support Sports Bra.

Don’t Be Anyone’s Fetish 

The more I think about it, the term, “Big girls need love too” is a smack in the face. It sounds like big girls are begging to be picked and loved. As if we’re supposed to be someone’s second or third pick. And don’t get me started with the whole, “I’ve never dated a big girl before, but you seem cool.” Oh, thank you Mr. Failure to Launch, I Still Live in My Mom’s Basement for your stamp of approval. Then there are men who fetishize plus size women. To them, our body type is only here for "plus size sex" and nothing else. You’re not a person, just a body. If you encounter one of these weirdos, run, girl, run!

Adopt Healthy Eating Habits

Whatever your body goals are, starving yourself won’t lead to lasting, healthy results. Having several small meals a day helps to maintain good metabolism. Meal prep to reduce your chance of choosing certain meals out of desperation and hunger. Increase your water intake to reduce dehydration and to promote healthier-looking skin. Reduce sugar intake to reduce the risk of diabetes and conditions related to obesity. Use supplements to replace vitamins and minerals you’re not getting because of your diet. And if this all feels daunting, hire a nutritionist or a certified personal trainer who can design a meal plan based on your weight-loss and body goals. 

Invest in Your Mental Wellbeing 

Keep people around you who are good for your mental health and block those who are not—even if it's your own kin. While I’m able to embrace my curves now, there was a time when being this size made me depressed. With all this body-positive talk that’s mainstream now, it’s naïve of us to think that some people are still not feeling the effects of a lifetime of bullying and body shaming. These factors alone could affect plus size women’s mental health and self-confidence. Please seek professional help if you’re depressed or need help unpacking certain things from your past.  

I’m one of those people who doesn’t believe in having limitations. Your size doesn’t dictate your level of success. I don’t want women obsessing over having the perfect body and lose sight of their real goals and aspirations. 

In the upcoming weeks, I’ll share with you some of the cool things I have for my fellow baddies coming down the pipeline.

December 06, 2021 — Gabby the Fatty