On a scale of 1 to Lizzo, how confident are you? Are you “I wear anything I want who’s going to stop me” confident or “I hold my camera at an angle so people won’t see my full body” confident?  

Wherever you are in building and maintaining your self-esteem and confidence, be kind to yourself. It’s not your fault that the mainstream media fails horribly at corrective promotion for plus size women. 

Aren’t you tired of seeing your image as the sidekick or homegirl who is seldom the love interest in movies and music videos? 

Can the culture get some more Bridgette Jones’s?  

Over the years, the plus size community has made strides thanks to influencers and brands that cater specifically to this demographic. However, there’s still a lot of work to do. 

Furthermore, it’s more profitable to remind people of their insecurities than to uplift them. 


Got extra body weight due to having kids? There’s a mommy workout for that. 

Hate your Hansel n Gretel nose? There’s a plastic surgeon for that.


People, especially plus size women, are not allowed to just be. 

Imagine being a plus size woman and loving the skin you're in. People will applaud you for that. "Wow, I don't think I could wear that even in my size, but I like your confidence." The backhanded compliments you receive as a plus size woman are as pervasive as the stereotypes assigned to your body type, and it certainly isn't workout motivation.  


So, what’s the resolve? How do we remain empowered in the skin that we’re in? Let’s explore adjustments you can make in your life that can lead you to being more confident. 


Positive Affirmations. If you look at your size as a hindrance to pursuing a particular career or attracting quality suitors, you’ll continue to live in this reality. You need to uplift yourself by speaking kindly to yourself. This is all internal. 

Try this: look into the mirror and compliment yourself. We don’t care if you have acne scars or dark spots, talk nice to yourself. “Damn girl, when you throw on that red matte lipstick, you’re unstoppable.”  You don’t even have to speak on your physical attributes.  Cheer yourself on about your accomplishments at work, school, and just life in general. 

It’s time to reprogram your mind in seeing all the qualities you bring to any space that you’re in. You should not be defined by anything except your character and how you treat people.  

Surround yourself with people who are good for your mental health. Make a decision today to unfriend, uncousin, uncoworker, undate anyone who's not good for your mental health and who doesn't mean you well. A lot of us have turned to food and adopted poor eating habits in response to the abuse we've received from people who were supposed to love and care for us, but didn't. You're not anyone's punching bag, punch line, nor ego booster.  Surround yourself with people who will hold you accountable in living out your dreams and who have your best interest at heart. 

Adjust your posture. Boss chicks don’t slouch. They walk into a room with their heads held high and shoulders standing erect. Sometimes the way you present yourself is reflective of how you carry yourself. Practice adjusting your posture so that it becomes a habit. Don't ever put your head down, baby girl. 

Reflect on Your Accomplishments. Baby girl, look how far you’ve come. You completed your degree, got a promotion at work. People call you doctor or CEO. You had the intellectual fortitude to go after dreams. This should be celebrated.  Don't let a few rolls or FUPA get you down. Your worth is not tied to waist size.  

Don’t Compare! With a social media-led society, it's hard not to compare yourself to others. Online, everyone is a so-called millionaire guru, with a perfect life and waistline. We're here to tell you, it's all a façade. Not everyone has it all figured out or are happy with their lives.   

Do more of what you love. You might lack self-confidence in one area in your life but yet you give off Kanye vibes in other areas. Shoot, maybe you can sing circles around most of your friends - do more of that. Visit the places in your mind bank where you feel like you’re at your best. 

Conquer something new. If you have a fear of flying, take your first flight. If you hi-key ever wanted to do comedy, sign up for amateur comedy night. Here’s something that’s on a smaller scale: Create a Tik Tok video. Maybe you’ve been scared to put yourself out there, but doing this might be just the self-esteem boost you need, especially if your video is met with positive feedback. 

Exercise. For some people, exercising is their form of therapy or a self-esteem booster. When you move your body, you release endorphins, chemical neurotransmitters, that help to give you feelings of happiness and euphoria. It’s hard to talk down to yourself when you just moved your body.  

Update your wardrobe. There’s something about getting dolled up or trying a new hairstyle that just instantly boosts your confidence and accentuates your assets (cough) Try the Tribe 35 plus size leggings. Not much of a fashionista? Get styling pointers from your favorite influencers and plus-size models.  Oh, the tailor should be your best friend. Remix your existing clothes. Convert your trousers into shorts. Transform your mid-length dresses into mini or baby doll dresses. Girl, just have fun---forget the fashion rules. 

We would be remiss if we didn't acknowledge that body-shaming is still a thing, but the plus size community is experiencing a seismic shift where our voices are being heard. Gone are the days where fat jokes would slide, without a public rebuke (Thanks, Twitter!). Now there's a gang of plus size women and allies that will take you to task.  

If you find that there are certain days when it's hard to feel confident for whatever reason, tap into your community where we understand exactly how you feel. Find comfort that you're not alone. 

Tell us, how do you boost your confidence when you're not in the right headspace or you feel plagued by your insecurities?

November 03, 2021 — Gabby the Fatty